Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
