I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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