thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I want to have your abortion
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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