There is no way he is gay with that hair.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
