Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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