This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
