Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
