Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
