yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
