just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
