i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I party with great urgency now.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
