There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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