if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My brain says no but my pants say off.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
