Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
