you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
