well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize