i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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