I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
