It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
