Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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