life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize