yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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