Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Blood and glitter go together right?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
