The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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