Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
