p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
