party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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