I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
