that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
