I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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