There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
