We're like a lot better than the average bears
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
