She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
All I want is dick and wine.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize