i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
