im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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