when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
