i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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