pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
