I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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