do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
