You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
