i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
