Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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