Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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