Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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