i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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