yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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