where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
