We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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