YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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