I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
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