It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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