I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
