how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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