in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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