my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
