I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
