DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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