My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
