I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
